Three Regrets

The aurora australis streams above the Indian Ocean by NASA Johnson is licensed under CC-BY-NC-ND 2.0

One of the hardest things to transition to when you pass into the Best Third is the lack of a schedule. Entering the last third means leaving things that you probably worked for your entire life behind, including facing an empty nest or retirement from a career. When you’re young, you are asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” When you’re in high school, you are asked “What are your plans after graduation?” In college, you pick a career path and think about a life post-education. As each of these decisions is made, another path closes. After spending years planning for a future in order to retire and enjoy life, that “some day” has arrived.

There is a bittersweet element to this, but nature hates a vacuum. The good news is we get to decide what that void is filled with. We can dwell on what is past or appreciate the thrill of knowing there are still things for which to strive for as we age. It’s up to everyone to figure out what their focus will be and continue to live life in a positive way. It is a time to look back at what one has achieved and know that it is not too late to achieve new goals and have new adventures.

I went to school with an oncology nurse who told me that the three most common regrets that her patients verbalized at the end of their lives were:

Not traveling when they had the chance

Not spending enough time with family and friends

Not pursuing an education

It seems to me the entire focus of your life changes when facing an empty nest and the end of a career. This is a time to look forward and do some of the things that time or finances precluded during the building years, without the pressures associated with it.

Relationships

Since I am retired, I have more time to nurture relationships. Family is the most important thing to me. Relationships matter. Family history matters. In my previous posts I have talked about the pain of estrangement, but I have stopped dwelling on this. While I cannot control other people’s decisions or reactions, I can choose to spend time with people who want to spend time with me. I have stopped worrying about the people who choose not to be in my life and started putting my energy into relationships that are reciprocal. It has been a difficult journey, but life changing.

Education

Age is never a reason to not pursue a goal, especially an educational goal. When I was 23 years old, I had one semester of college under my belt, and I had seen all of my friends from high school graduate college and start their lives. I felt left behind, and I thought I could never catch up. I went to a party one night, and I was talking to a friend about this, when a man overheard me saying, “I don’t know if it’s worth it to go back to school now, I’ll be so old by the time I finish.” This guy turned around and said, “How old will you be if you don’t go back?” and left the room. That man eventually became my husband and supported my educational goals while we built a life together. I have been very fortunate that I was able to pursue my education. I had a late start, but I became an RN with an associate’s degree, followed by a bachelor’s degree and finally a master’s degree, which I finished at the age of 41.

In my experience, achieving my educational goals was the key to what I wanted to ultimately achieve in life. I was able to provide for my family, and it gave me the ability to travel. Because of my career, I was able to retire a few years early and focus my extra time on family and friendships. I was a little nervous about retiring, fearing I would be bored, but the opposite has occurred. I find my days to be full and satisfying.

Travel

While I enjoy traveling, there are so many more places that I want to experience. I have put off trips because of financial concerns while raising a family, not being able to get time off from work, or not being able to coordinate my vacation time with other family members. My biggest regret is not going to Ireland in 2019 when my daughter was doing a semester abroad in college. She still had a year left of college, and I was nervous about spending the money on an overseas trip. My husband and I decided we would go back to Ireland after she graduated. The pandemic hit, and that trip didn’t actually happen until 2024. I promised myself that I would never postpone a trip I wanted to take again.

We will all eventually lose health and physical function, making some trips more difficult to take than others. In order to live life to the fullest in the Best Third, take the physically strenuous trips first. Travel, like education, changes you. It’s supposed to do that. Experiencing another culture opens up new ideas, a fresh way of looking at the world. It makes life richer.

It’s difficult to rebuild after a significant loss, whether that is a relationship, a person or a career. Being an empty-nester or a retiree are both major life changes that have elements of loss associated with them. It’s important to come to terms with those changes and keep a forward-looking mindset.  Continue to live the best life you can even in the last third. Do the scary thing or the hard thing and make this time of life the Best Third. By doing this, one can avoid the major three regrets.

Wedding Planning


We had gotten to the point of budget discussions.


“We can contribute $10,000 to your wedding budget, “ I offer. Very
generously, I thought.


“Does that include the rehearsal dinner?” Son asked.


“Yes. That includes everything. We can afford to contribute $10,000.” I
say with what I hope was and edge of finality in my voice.


“When can you get us the money?” Still no “thank you” I noticed, but I
would be patient. I was sure it was coming, right? $10,000 is still a lot
of money, isn’t it? I’m doubting myself now.


“Well, I’ll give it to you over the next year. The wedding is still over a
year away, and since your sister is in college, I’m sorry, Son, I do not have
a lump sum to hand over at this moment.”
“Oh.” Son says. A note of disappointment in his voice, resigned to his fate
of a parental easy payment plan. “Well, Bride’s parent’s have $14,000
they can give us today.”


My jaw drops. Thankfully not visible over the phone. I do the math
quickly in my head. $24,000. As a starting budget. For a one day event.
In my quick calculations this will not include my dress or my high school
and college aged daughter’s dresses that I will have to buy because they
have no incomes, but who are included in the wedding. And this is just
off the top of my head. Still no “thank you.”
“I’ll have to talk to Bride about this and let you know.”
“O.K. honey, talk to you soon.”


Why didn’t I say – are you fucking kidding me??!! How about a thank
you for the kind and generous gift? No, I did not say that. Yes, I was
thinking it, but I was hoping for a drama free wedding. I love my son
and really liked, at the time, his then fiancé e and his now wife. She was ambitious planner juxtaposed against his easygoing
neuroticism, the safe harbor for him in the storm that mainly
exists in his own mind.


Jump to a few days later – “Hi, Mom!”
“Hi, Honey, how is everything?”
“I talked to Bride about the wedding budget, and after she crunched the
numbers, we can’t include the rehearsal dinner in the amount you are
offering us.”


There really are no words to describe my reaction, so stunned silence
will have to suffice.
“Well, I guess we can probably swing that, but it’s got to be someplace
close to home, no place extravagant.”


I know, I know. This would have been the time to say, “I’m sorry son, but
I do not have to crunch the numbers to know I cannot afford a penny
more than $10,000 and if you give me a “thank you” right now, I’ll forget
this entitled conversation ever happened.


Again, I was going for family harmony. This was just the beginning.
Perhaps in the true fashion of the extorted, I thought if I gave them what
they wanted, they would be happy and peace would reign. Like anyone
who has ever been blackmailed knows, it never ends – they always come
back for more.


“Thanks, Mom, we really appreciate this.”


That’s all I wanted.